Matters of grave concern - part 3
VARIOUS friends have told me about their visits to the famous Boot Hill Cemetery at Tombstone in the USA. Some of you may have been there yourselves. Not surprisingly it contains some rather blunt epitaphs, an example being:
'Here lies George Johnson
Hanged by mistake in 1882
He was right
We was wrong
But we strung him up
And now he's gone.'
Another of these Arizona send offs is for Lester Moore who was a Wells Fargo Agent. He was shot over an argument about a consignment.
'Here lies Lester Moore
Four Slugs from an A 44
No less - no more.'
A Salisbury graveyard has a sporting inscription which goes
'I bowled, I struck, I caught, I stopped
Sure life's a game of cricket
I blocked with care, my caution popped
Yet death has hit my wicket.'
An old memorial seen at Dymock in Worcestershire reminds of the many diseases rampant in the late middle ages, the wording reflecting that period.
'Two sweeter babes you nare did see
Than God amity give to wee
But they were ortaken wee ague fits
And yur they lies as dead as nits.'
An epitaph on a snooker player's grave read,
'He has taken the long rest.'
In many epitaphs scant respect seems to have been accorded passing wives and in the long run they come off worse than the men. A New Hampshire one says:
'Tears cannot restore her
Therefore - I weep.'
And how upset was this husband whose wife lies in a Welsh Churchyard:
'This spot is the sweetest I've seen in my life
For it raises my flowers and covers
my wife.'
The graveyard in Dunfries has many spectacular tombs, although it has to be said, many look dreary and sombre. Here we can read:
'Here lies Andrew Macpherson
Who was a most peculiar man
He stood six foot two without his shoe
And he was slew at Waterloo.'
Epitaphs are tremendously varied in subject mattr and sometimes they even advertise a particular trade, and such is seen in this marble cutter's tribute to his wife.
'Here lies Jane Smith, wife of Thomas Smith
Marble Cutter. This monument
was erected
By her husband as a tribute to
her memory
And a specimen of his work.
Monuments of the same style
350 dollars.'
Lots of epitaphs comment on persistence against overwhelming and I suppose this one from Welland, Ontario, Canada, is an example.
'Here lies all that remains of Charlotte
Born a virgin - died a harlot
For sixteen years she kept
her virginity
A marvellous thing for this vicinity.'
References to accidents involving death are very common. Some are great long serious descriptions of mining disasters, tragedies at sea, murder and a multitude of individual cases of death by misfortunes of many kinds. Here's a brief example.
'Here lies the body of William John
His bicycle stopped but he went on.'
A memorial to James Dean, who was a local coachman, who died in 1847, has the words:
'Passengers of every age
I've swiftly carried from stage to stage
Till death came by in a hearse unseen
And stopped the course of my machine.'
Still on accidents I wonder if this epitaph adds insult to injury for we are told that the stone that killed the deceased became his headstone. It is found at Pole Moor Baptist Church Graveyard near Huddersfield.
'In affectionate memory of John Edward Haigh, Nettleton Hill, Longwood.
He died on January 26th 1879, aged 38 years.
From the effects of an accident at Parkwood Mills, Longwood.
While in the discharge of his duty
This stone fell upon him and
crushed him.
In token of their respect for his
faithful service
His employers have caused this stone to be set up.'
This incredible epitaph is found in Burlington cemetery, Shropshire.
'Here lies the body of mary Ann Louder
She burst while drinking a seidlitz powder
Called from this world to her
heavenly rest
She should have waited while it effervesced.''
Still on the theme of accidents this memorial from a village churchyard in Pembrokeshire, South Wales is certainly to the point.
'Here I lie ands no wonder I'm dead
For the wheel of a wagon
Passed over my head.'
Next week in Part 4 - A Very Fruity Epitaph
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Weather for Epworth
Wednesday 08 February 2012
Today
Sunny spells
Temperature: -3 C to 1 C
Wind Speed: 10 mph
Wind direction: East
Tomorrow
Cloudy
Temperature: -1 C to 1 C
Wind Speed: 9 mph
Wind direction: South
