Matters of grave concern - part 4
We are well into our worldwide roam visiting graveyards to look at some very strange and interesting epitaphs, and this week we start off at Cross Kirk in the Shetland Islands where a memorial not only names the deceased but also the chemist who accidentally poisoned him.
'Donald Robertson was a peaceable, quiet man
To all appearances - a sincere christian
His death was very much regretted
It was caused by the stupidity of Lawrence Tulloch
Who sold him nitre instead of Epsom Salts
By which he was killed in just three hours
After taking one dose of it'
Visiting Spa Towns to take the waters was a commonplace activity in Georgian and Victorian times and the following two epitaphs come from the Cheltenham and Bath Spas - both very fashionable in their day.
'Here I lie with my three daughters
Who died of drinking Cheltenham waters
If we had kept to Epsom Salts
We should not lie in these cold vaults'
The one in Bath Abbey reads:
'These walls, adorned with monumental busts
Show how Bath waters serve to lay the dust'
In Bampton cemetery in Devon the Parish clerk met with a fatal accident when an icicle fell off the roof and fractured his skull.
'Bless my eyes - here I lies
In a sad pickle - killed by an icicle'
The fruity epitaph to which my title refers is found in Monmouth and tells of the sad end of a youth who died from an excess of fruit pie.
'Currants have checked the current of my blood
And berries brought me to be buried here
Pears have pared off my body's hardihood'
Still on the theme of death from eating we have
'Here lies the body of Robert Moore
What signifies more words
He killed himself by eating curds
But if he'd been ruled by Sarah, his wife
He might have lived all the days of his life'
Many people will remember the pig killer going about his business and this affair was almost a science in the old days with all the various aspects in the killing, cutting up, distributing the offal treats, curing the bacon, not forgetting the bladder given away for use as a football.
'Here lies James Higgs - a famous man for killing pigs
For killing pigs was his delight
Both morning, afternoon and night
But heats and colds he did endure
Which no physician could ever cure
His knife is laid - his work is done
I hope to heaven is soul is gone'
At Harrow in MIddlesex, there is an epitaph to a fellow who must have taken his name seriously. The present stone is dated 1954 but in fact, the original was 1702.
'Beneath these green trees rising to the skies
The planter of them Isaac Greentree lies
The day shall come when these green trees shall fall
And Isaac Greentree rise above them all.
We end our journey this week with a look at an inscription in Bingham Church in Nottinghamshire.
'Beneath this stone lies Thomas Hart . Years fifty-eight he took the part
of Parish Clerk
Few did excel, correct he read and sang so well
His words distinct, his voice so clear
Till eighteen hundred and fiftieth year
Death cut the brittle thread, and then a period put to his amen
At eighty-two his breath resigned to meet the fate the fate of all mankind
The third of May his soul took flight to mansions of eternal light
The bell for him with awful tone his body summoned to the tomb
Oh! May his sins be all forgiven and Christ receive him into heaven'
Next week in Part 5 - More Accident Epitaphs
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Weather for Epworth
Wednesday 08 February 2012
Today
Sunny spells
Temperature: -3 C to 1 C
Wind Speed: 10 mph
Wind direction: East
Tomorrow
Cloudy
Temperature: -1 C to 1 C
Wind Speed: 9 mph
Wind direction: South
